One-Shot Wonders
by Aya28
Summary: Just some one-shots about possible happenings in Harry Potter. Some may feature Lily and James alive, just for fluff sections, while others may follow the normal plot line. Nothing serious (but definitely lot's of Sirius xD), loads of humor and fun. Send me requests for ones you want! (Currently struggling to fix the cover image, so just ignore it for now)


**Disclaimer: Me no own Harry Potter. Or the characters. Sadly.**

**Summary: Just a one-shot on what it would be like if Lily and James survived and sent their son a howler 2****nd**** year.**

Harry gulped. Just a few moments ago, his friend Ron Weasley had just received a howler after flying an illegal car with Harry to get to Hogwarts. Molly Weasley had shouted herself hoarse in front of the entire hall before the accursed letter burst into flame. And now an identical one had just landed in front of Harry, delivered by Hedwig, his family's owl.

Tentatively, with encouragement from his friends, he moved his fingers towards it to open it. He knew it was from his parents and his "uncles", who were really his godfathers but basically lived with them anyways. Remus Lupin was the more reasonable one, while Sirius Black was the rampant child stuck in a middle-aged body.

Hermione glared at him again, as if to remind him that it was his entire fault and he deserved it anyways.

Gulping, he gathered his courage and finally opened the envelope. The letter rose up into the air, opened up a pair of lips, and began to spew abuse.

"_**HARRY JAMES POTTER! HOW DARE YOU!" **_Harry winced. His mother, Lily Potter, had a fantastic set of lungs that she was now using against him in full force.

"_**AFTER ALL THE TIME YOU SPENT WITH THE WEASLEYS, HOW COULD YOU DISGRACE THEM IN SUCH A WAY? ARTHUR IS NOW FACING ENQUIRY AT WORK, THANKS TO YOUR INABLITLY TO CONSULT AN ADULT IN TIMES OF NEED!" **_

Harry and Ron exchanged looks. That was similar to what Molly Weasley had just howled.

"_**YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO ASHAMED-"**_

"_**Actually, I'm not really ashamed. I'm actually kind of proud. Harry, don't listen to your mum, she didn't take her calming draught-"**_James, Harry's dad, quickly cut in.

"_**Lily takes a calming draught? Really? I don't know if it's working… Good job by the way Prongslet! What a wonderful way to start off a semester! I have never been prouder…"**_Sirius said.

"_**Padfoot, maybe you should keep quiet. Lily looks like she's about to blow a gasket and you tend to upset her more..." **_Remus quickly spoke up.

"_**Upset me? UPSET ME? I WAS ALREADY UPSET! HARRY JAMES POTTER, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I SWEAR, YOU WILL BE 6 FEET UNDER THE GROUND! THIS WAS AN ABOMINABLE STUNT TO PULL! I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HORRFIED-**_

"_**That's not true." **_Sirius quipped.

"_**I-wait what?"**_

"_**I think you were actually angrier that night after you let me babysit Harry alone."**_

"_**Are you serious? I am already furious and you just have to-"**_

"_**No, I'm Sirius." **_Sirius joked.

James, Lily, and Remus all groaned.

"_**Padfoot, that joke was never funny." **_James said with a sigh.

"_**Prongs, I think he's a lost cause. He's never been right since that dye incident in 5**__**th**__** year…" **_Remus cut in.

The students in the hall looked around curiously while all the teachers groaned.

"_**Will you lot SHUT UP? I AM TRYING TO SCOLD HARRY HERE! WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS INTERFERE? I SWEAR, IT FEELS LIKE I MARRIED ALL THREE OF YOU!"**_

Everyone in the hall winced at the increase in volume.

"Poor Lily," Professor McGonagall whispered to Professor Sprout. Both teachers looked on, amused.

"_**Lily, you realize all this will be in the howler, right?" **_

"_**WHAT ARE YOU RAMBLING ABOUT NOW JAMES?"**_

"_**All of this, our arguing, Sirius' jokes, it's all been recorded onto the howler." **_ Remus helpfully provided.

"_**YOU-"**_The sentence stopped midway, heavy thuds were heard.

"_**Ow Lils! Broomsticks were made for flying, not maiming!"**_

"_**Sirius shut up, you'll make it-OW!"**_

"_**You okay James? OW-Lily don't hit me there!**_

"_**Oi Moony you'll just make it worse-OW! Lily! Violence solves nothing! This is domestic abuse!"**_

The whole hall laughed as Sirius whined in a pained voice. This was a much better entertainment then the choir originally hired.

"_**Shut up and give me the letter! I am not sending that!"**_

"_**James catch!"**_

"_**Thanks Sirius! Here Moony!**_

"_**Back to you Padfoot!"**_

" _**Oi Minnie! You there? It's me again!"**_

"I told him not to call me that!" Professor McGonagall remarked, scandalized.

"_**I can hear her now," **_James chortled. _**"I told him not to call me that!"**_

Professor McGonagall blushed as everyone laughed.

"_**At least Ol' Dumbles doesn't mind. And Snivellus is much better than his given name."**_

Professor Dumbledore merely looked amused, while Snape looked furious.

"_**I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL HIM THAT! NOW GIVE IT HERE!" **_Lily roared.

"_**Harry, we are really sorry for disrupting your Hogwarts experience. I do know how important it was to me." **_Remus cut in.

"_**Sure was important to me! It's how Lily-flower and I got together after all…"**_

"_**Padfoot, you and Lily aren't together! She's my wife!"**_

"_**Then how come I was the one waiting at the altar?**_

"_**BECAUSE YOU WERE MY BEST MAN! For the last time!"**_

The entire hall roared with laughter while the teachers shook their head in amusement. Sirius would never grow up.

"_**Oh yeah! So wait-what was this howler for again?"**_

"_**I believe Lily here wanted to yell at Harry for the flying car incident." **_Remus helpfully put in.

"_**Oi Moony! That's my son you just sold out!"**_

"_**Sorry Prongs," **_Remus said apologetically.

"_**That's right! HARRY YOU ARE GROUNDED! GROUNDED UNTIL YOU'RE 17! NO, UNTIL YOU'VE MOVED OUT! NO, UNTIL YOU'RE **__**MARRIED!**__** LAST YEAR WAS THE STONE, THIS YEARS A CAR, WHAT NEXT? A BASILISK? James, back me up here!"**_

"Oh no, it's going to start up all over again..." Professor McGonagall groaned.

"_**Hey, don't bring me into this! Harry-have fun in school. Keep pulling dangerous stunts. But don't get caught. Don't get a girlfriend. Just do what Sirius does. And no matter what, don't get married. It leads to domestic-OW!-abuse!"**_

"_**I second that Prongs, and Harry-you're never too young for girls!"**_

"_**Padfoot, your advice is harmful. Harry, don't forget to focus on school. As long as it doesn't interfere with your pranks."**_

"_**BOYS! UGH-TAKE THAT! AND THAT! WAIT-HEDWIG DON'T DELIVER THAT! NO! BAD OWL!GET BACK HERE!**_

Several thuds are heard and the distinct sound of three men laughing while a women shrieked.

"_**NOOOOOooooooooooooo!" **_The shriek grew quieter and quieter until it finally faded away.

The hall was dead silent for about a minute, then everyone broke into laughter.

Ten minutes later, everyone had finally calmed down. Professor Dumbledore rose and walked towards his podium.

"Thank you Harry, for that remarkable breakfast entertainment." Professor Dumbledore (Ol'Dumbles) said, while smiling down at Harry. "Now, lessons start in 5 minutes, so you all had best be on your way!"

Everyone hustled off to their classes, the howler still fresh in their minds. Later it was soon added to the continued myth of the legendary Marauders and the feisty redhead who accompanied their ventures.

THE END

**AN: Yup. I don't write Gallagher Girls fanfic anymore, and I'm currently obsessed with harry potter so I hope you enjoyed this one-shot. If everyone likes this, I can continue and make this a series of one- shots. Otherwise, I guess I'll have to try something else. Please review to let me know if you want me t continue!**

**PS: My loyal fans from my previous story. I hope you enjoy this, I hope the writing is at least somewhat better. Thank you for being there for me and I'm sorry that story had to end that way but I simply don't have the time to do anything but one-shots. I hope you'll still read these harry potter one-shots and enjoy them though.**


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